...But Which Is The Creepiest?

We all know kids are creepy; don't argue, they just are. Former child actors Nicoletta Elmi and Giovanni Frezza, who appeared in a number of Italian horror films in the 70s and 80s respectively, were no exception. Not surprisingly, they both had roles in Lamberto Bava's Demons, after which both retired from acting (Elmi appeared in her last film in 1989). David Colin Jr, who appeared in only two films, still deserves mention as he was one seriously demented-looking kid. Peter Bark (Burial Ground) was disqualified from this contest on the grounds that he was actually an adult in a wig, but still gets a cookie for trying (Mariangela Giordan's got the milk!)

*NICOLETTA ELMI (Born Feb 13, 1964)*

WHO SAW HER DIE? (Aldo Lado, 1972)
BARON BLOOD (Mario Bava, 1972)
ANDY WARHOL'S FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN (Paul Morrissey / Antonio Margheriti, 1973)
FOOTPRINTS ON THE MOON (Luigi Bazzoni, 1975)
DEEP RED (Dario Argento, 1975)
THE CURSED MEDALLION (Massimo Dallamano, 1975)
DEMONS (Lamberto Bava, 1985)

*GIOVANNI FREZZA (Born Sept 8, 1972)*

THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY (Lucio Fulci, 1981)
MANHATTAN BABY (Lucio Fulci, 1982)
A BLADE IN THE DARK (Lamberto Bava, 1983)
DEMONS (Lamberto Bava, 1985)

*DAVID COLIN JR (Born July 1970)*

BEYOND THE DOOR (Ovidio G Assonitis/ Robert Barrett, 1974)
SHOCK (Mario Bava, 1977)

*PETER BARK (Born 1955 or thereabouts, according to IMDB)*

BURIAL GROUND The Nights Of Terror

(Andrea Bianchi, 1981)



If you are reading this and you haven't yet seen Burial Ground, do place your order right now. If I can't convince you, maybe THIS stellar cast will!



Still not convinced? How about the groundbreaking special effects?



When the zombies are smarter and more physically attractive than the actors, you KNOW it's gotta be good! Mystery Science Theater EAT YOUR HEART OUT good! Where to begin? How about the incest? OK fine, how about the lousy dubbing? Or the even lousier dialogue? Favorite quotes include "Mama, this cloth smells of death!" and "You look just like a little whore...I like that! The makeup and other effects are incredibly thrifty, to put it kindly. And the zombies are pretty organized in this movie! They all have matching green robes and use a variety of farming implements to break into the house. I learned that zombies are also expert knife throwers, can scale walls, and have pinatas for heads!



Ahhhh, the cast. Other than Maria Angela Giordan aka Mariangela Giordano aka the woman who gets a firepoker in her hoo-hoo in Patrick Still Lives, where did they find these people? Whose barrel did they scrape? Judging from the fact that they shot most of this during the day, presumably to save on lighting, there probably wasn't much in the budget for the cast. I'm almost positive the actors drew matches nightly to see who didn't get to eat! Oh, and I should probably mention Peter Bark, the adult in a floppy wig who is supposed to be a kid in this. There, I just did. See to Believe.



Oh ya, and the story...three semi-retarded couples and a mature-looking kid go to stay at their archaeologist friend's villa, which happens to be situated close to some Etruscan tombs that are filled with zombies. Much stupidity ensues. HIGHly recommended for the non-stop laughs and schizophrenic soundtrack!

Buy It Now!