BEYOND DARKNESS aka La Casa 5 (Claudio Fragasso, 1990)

Dear gawd, when will the Fragasso reviews end? Soon, I assure you, very soon. But until then, beware: they will pop up when least expected, much like the Goblins' materializing out of nowhere in Troll 2, and just as devastatingly.

Father George (Michael Brandon) oversees the excution of a witch who murdered many children to provide innocent souls for Satan. However, the witch refuses to rest in peace, and torments not only George (who becomes an alcoholic pretty damn quick after the execution), but Father Peter (Gene LeBrock), his wife Annie (Barbara Bingham) and their children Martin and Carol (Martin is played by the same kid from Troll 2!) who moved into her house. Soon, almost randomly, the black-garbed, bloody-faced souls of the damned come for their children. They survive the first assault with some divine intervention, but rather than, say... MOVE AWAY, they do the smart thing and decide to stay in the house. Guess what happens next?

There's a few parallels between this film and Troll 2, which were likely made back-to-back. First, we have Joshua/ Martin. Then the soundtrack by Carlo Maria Cordio. In fact, it's the same soundtrack used in fellow Filmirage productions Troll 2, Witchery, etc. The makeup in Beyond Darkness is notably better than the crummy masks used in Troll 2, but the special effects are basically the same: wind, dry ice, and bright backlighting. I might mention that the acting here is much more believable, though the expected bad dialogue and derivative story ruin any chance Fragasso had of making a decent B movie. They seriously borrowed (aka ripped off) not only The Exorcist, but Poltergeist, The Fog, and The Beyond. I'm sure there's a couple of titles that I've missed, but you get the idea. What's most tragic is that there are a couple of spooky moments in the film, but they're never properly explored. Beyond Darkness is frightfully cheesy, but not in an enjoyable kind of way.

ZOMBIE 4 aka After Death

(Claudio Fuckin' Fragasso, 1989)

Dear God: Why hast thou forsaken me? Why did you ever allow Claudio Fragasso to make movies? And are they really movies? Granted, Troll 2 is one of the most brilliant films ever made, but for every Troll 2 there's a Shocking Dark, a Beyond Darkness, and a handful of collaborations with Bruno Mattei.

Zombie 4 opens promisingly enough with a Demons-inspired massacre, but immediately turns to shit when we learn that there will be no more demonic shenanigans; just a bunch of terrible actors (including gay porn star Jeff Stryker) duking it out with some questionable-looking zombies on a cursed island.

Hate to break it to you, but that's about all you need to know about this corny cheese and beer-fart-fest. Zombie (and Zombi!) movies were tired (or dead, if you will) by the late 80's, so it's a wonder Fragasso got ANYone to fund this turd trek. And it doesn't even have proper zombies; just a bunch of pasty ghouls in matching rags outrunning, out-jumping, out-gunning, and generally outsmarting our helpless fodder. I guess you could say the plethora of continuity errors work in the undead's favor!

Plus they have their own fog machine and backlighting, and seem to know they are being filmed as they have an annoying habit of looking directly into the camera. Zombie 4's one saving grace is that it IS gory, and excessively so. Shame it's such a chore waiting for the good stuff! And sorry, boys, Stryker doesn't get nekkid, though he does get a fist through the chest! Only for the morbidly curious. And bi-curious (I'm lookin' at YOU, Fragasso, you bastard!) Buy it here.

Mini Bio : Claudio Fragasso

Born the 2nd of October, 1951, in Rome, Claudio Fragasso's name will forever be synonymous with crappy films with ultra-low budgets. He worked extensively with Bruno Mattei, and has 32 writing credits, 13 assistant director credits, and an astonishing 8 acting credits in addition to the 23 films he directed. Not bad for no budget. Today he works in the Italian TV industry, and has appeared at Troll 2 screenings and the Troll 2 documentary, Best Worst Movie. Not surprisingly, he's directed under numerous pseudonyms, including Clyde Anderson, Clide Fergusson, Drago Floyd, Drake Floyd, Claudio Fracassi, Claude Fragass, Werner Knox, and Claudio Sansevero.

*Selected Films*

Night of the Zombies aka Hell of the Living Dead (1980/81)
Rats: Night of Terror (1984)
Scalps (1987)
Zombi 3 (1988)
Zombie 4: After Death (1989)
Beyond Darkness (1990)
Night Killer (1990/91)
Troll 2 (1990)

RATS - NIGHT OF TERROR

(Bruno Mattei / Claudio Fragasso, 1984)

In the year 2015, the world is destroyed by nuclear bombs (it IS likely, haw!) and most humans now live underground. They are an advanced society, though they consider surface dwellers as savages and maintain no contact with them.

In the year 225 AB (After the Bomb, not Alberta) a ragtag group of futuristic bikers (and by futuristic, I mean devastatingly 80s) are in search of sanctuary. They hole up in an abandoned laboratory (complete with wall-sized computers and other scientific-looking bits), where they find food and water. Little do they know the surrounding area is swarming with intelligent (more so than the humans), carnivorous rats!

Crapmaster Mattei does it again, this time with the incredibly talented and underrated Claudio Fragasso *haw!*. He's churned out yet another racist, sexist, and generally z-grade George Romero knockoff, and boy is it entertaining. How do I even begin to tear this apart? Hell of the Living Dead (Night of the Zombies) was Mattei's answer to Dawn of the Dead, so Rats must surely be a ripoff of Night of the Living Dead, except with rats instead of zombies. Why else include scenes of pointless infighting and barricading of doors, not to mention the corpse "reanimated" by being filled up with rats?

Rats does feature gore and nudity, neither of which is terribly convincing. The rats appear to be thrown at the actors, with the exception of the one that crawls up a girl's hoo-hoo. Yup, that actually happens! Hilariously, one corpse literally explodes from the pressure of the rats built up inside. Again, this happens all the time. If anyone's to blame here, it's makeup artist Maurizio Trani, also of Troll 2 fame. But then again, what kind of makeup would one expect from a Trani? *haw haw*

The film's opening music is seriously grating, but the rest of the soundtrack is passable sci-fi bleeps and bloops. Storywise, there's nothing new to take away from Rats. Except the twist ending; it's a definite head-scratcher. At least Geretta Geretta's (Demons, Murder Rock) in this. Recommended only for heckling. Makes a great double feature along with Troll 2. Buy it here.

ZOMBI 3

(started by Lucio Fulci, finished by Bruno Mattei...dear gawd...1988)

A warning to the viewer: if you wish to kill yourself in a slow, agonizing manner, purchase Zombi 3 here. I thought I'd give you a heads-up just in case I don't survive the review. Oh yeah, it's another survivors and scientists versus zombies and the military movie. Like we needed another.

2:20 PM
So here it is; the film that broke Fulci's spirit. You know a product is rotten if Fulci wouldn't even complete it. They had to bring in Bruno Mattei to finish it. Oh yes, and it's written by CLAUDIO FRAGASSO, creator of such cinematic abortions as Troll 2. Someone please stop me.

2:40 PM
I've delayed as long as I can. I'm going to brave Zombi 3 a second time so I can get some screenshots. Dear God, please help me. Really...I'm crying out for help, but no one's listening! Alright, I'm doing it then. Fine. I'm really going to do it. This may well be the end of me.

4:00 PM
I did it. I acshuly watched it again, and madeit out with minml brain dmg. What a horribleugly movie. Makes no senses. How didthe zombie head fly out of the fridge and why is everything soft-focusss?? It stars Deran Serafian and Beatrice ring Deranserafian n Betricering?whydoes theasian djsound like hesblack?

4:30 PM
notsure what happind the last 30mins i dont remember anythig...ZOMBI3!!!OHGOD I remembernow, plez go away...the acting! the dialogues n...owwww THE MUSIC pleasestopthemusic...zombie birds???

7:00 PM
i raped my headwith a towl now my ears r bleading and all I can here is stefano mainetti andhis cursed casio im goig tocallthe hospitl fragassoYOU BASTARDWHATDID U DO TOM E?

1:00 AM
woke up inapuddle of brains npiss bythe fone n my hed hurts youbastards i WANtmy head back

12:30 PM
Am going to kill the roommate for putting acid in my protein shake again. Now what was this all about?