Wednesday, February 1, 2012


(Luigi Cozzi, 1980)
An unmanned ship drifts into New York Harbour, and first to arrive on the scene are Lt Tony Aris and a crew of hazmat-suits. In the hold they discover the grisly remains of some of the crew, and a hoard of green, football-shaped eggs. One of the suits, cautious and intelligent no doubt, picks up an egg only to have it explode, spraying his colleagues with a corrosive greenish fluid as well. And then... they explode, with guts and gory bits bursting from their chests! In slow-motion!
Tony, the only survivor, is taken by government forces for decontamination and questioning. He meets the icy and somewhat wall-eyed Col Stella Holmes, who for some dubious reason enlists his aid in the case. While discussing the matter, Sheila suddenly recalls a description of the eggs by an astronaut, Ian Hubbard (Ian McCulloch), upon his return from Mars some time prior. Yes, Mars. Hubbard, we learn, was ridiculed and let go after the incident, leaving him a self-pitying alcoholic recluse.
Sheila convinces Hubbard to travel to South America with her and Tony to investigate the UniverX coffee plantation, which they suspect is the source of of the green pods. Why the US government would send a cowardly Col, a policeman, and an alcoholic ex-astronaut to save the world instead of, say, an army, is completely beyond me, but they do. The trio's arrival is not unnoticed, as the owners of the plantation have been tipped off and have a large, one-eyed surprise waiting for them!
Hackmaster Cozzi does it again! This Alien-"inspired" title offers dear viewer a heaping helping of horrible dialogue, gory chest explosions, and an outstanding soundtrack by the legendary Goblin.Wow, is this ever a gulity pleasure. Cozzi's love of sci-fi really shines through in this epically low-budget treat. Hmmm... checklist time!
Alien Cyclops? *check*
Green Eggs? *check...but "Where's the ham?", one may wonder...*
Helmets and Space Suits of Questionable Usefulness? *check*
Scale Models as Sets? *check!*
Panels With Blinking Lights and Knobs? *double-check*
Drunken Has-Been Astronauts? *just one... oh, THERE'S the ham!*
Contamination is definitely worth a watch or two. As previously stated, the dialogue is absolutley ridiculous, a detriment worsened (or, for some, improved upon) by the atrocious acting and overdubbing. The cheese quotient is further upped by the ridiculous, hole-filled plot with it's many lapses in logic and continuity. Oh, and did I mention the Alien Cyclops? Truly "special" effects there! Contamination's saving graces, few as they may be, are the body count and accompanying gallons of blood, and the awesome music by Goblin. This is by far one of their creepiest and most memorable synth-heavy soundtracks, portions of which were "borrowed" for use in other horror films. Recommended!

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