THE SCORPION WITH TWO TAILS aka Murder In An Etruscan Cemetery

(Sergio Martino, 1982)

Equal parts giallo, horror, fantasy, and crime drama, The Scorpion With Two Tails is one odd mishmash of a film. Joan Barnard (Elvira Audray) has recurring nightmares of being in a smoke-filled grotto and witnessing an ancient Etruscan sacrificial ceremony wherein the victims have their necks broken and their heads twisted completely around. She is also plagued by the maggot-filled omen of her husband Arthur`s (John Saxon) death.

Soon after, Arthur, an archaeologist excavating a newly discovered Etruscan tomb, is murdered and found with his head twisted backwards. Before dying, he informs Joan of the grotto with which she is already familiar, and she sets out to unmask her husband`s killer and the meaning of her dreams. To thicken the plot, Joan`s father is revealed to have been in some as-yet unfinished shady business with Arthur, and he intends to use Joan to lead him to a large cache of cocaine hidden in the grotto.

Despite the familiar cast and Fabio Frizzi score (some of which was borrowed from the City of the Living Dead soundtrack) TSWTT is an intensely boring film. As a horror film it fails, and despite the nifty head-twisting there is no gore at all. As a giallo it fails, as the deaths are supernatural and the requisite gore, sex, and sleaze are all absent. It fails as a crime drama, as there is too little action (and gore again!). As a fantasy film, it does work to a degree.

Horror and crime bits aside, it almost plays out like an overly-long game of Dungeons and Dragons. Most of the budget was obviously spent on dry ice and foam rock, giving it a foggy, dreamy feel at times, which is punctuated by the equally dreamy soundtrack. The problem with that is, since there is no action to speak of, many a viewer may nod off after the first 30 minutes. Not highly recommended, unless as hangover viewing on a Sunday afternoon. Buy it here.

CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE

(Antonio Margheriti, 1980)

During the Vietnam war, POWs Tom (Tony King) and Charlie (Giovanni Lombardo Radice) are discovered eating human flesh in a tiger pit. Their captain, Norman Hopper (John Saxon) is bitten while helping them escape, and Tom and Charlie are sent to a psychiatric institute in America.

Roughly a decade later, Charlie is seemingly cured of his cannibalistic tendencies and released. His release is only temporary, however, as he bites and woman in a theater, kills a biker and a security guard, and holes himself up in the hunting section of a local market. Norman hears of the situation and convinces Charlie that he needs to resume treatment, but doesn't tell anyone of his own recent craving for blood despite having bitten the neighbor's niece.

It's discovered that the former POWs have contracted a virus that drives men to madness and cannibalism, and Norman has it as well. Before long, Tom, Charlie, Norman, and a recently infected nurse arm themselves and escape through the sewers of Atlanta. The military, fearing a pandemic, attempt to stop them at any cost.

Viewers expecting Cannibal Holocaust (or Ferox!)- style gutmunching and violence may be slightly disappointed with Cannibal Apocalypse as it's really more of an action flick than horror. It does contain a fair amount of bloodshed, but emphasis is placed more on the story and characters than most other Italian exploitation films. Director Antonio Margheriti shows off his decades of B movie-making experience with some attractive camerawork and a detailed (though discontinuous) plot. Cannibal Apocalypse can still be purchased new through third party sellers here.

TENEBRE aka Unsane

(Dario Argento, 1982)

Oh, how does one review Tenebre and do it the justice it so very well deserves? Keep the words short and let the pictures do the talking!

American writer Peter Neal (Anthony Franciosa) is in Rome to promote his latest novel, Tenebre. An insane fan has begun killing off what he refers to as "perverts", "thieves", and "spies" in manners described in Tenebre, and soon threatens Neal himself. The police, as usual, are little help, so Peter, his agent Bullmer (John Saxon), secretary Anne (Daria Nicolodi), and his assistant Gianni take up an investigation of their own.

Sounds cute, right? Some consider this Argento's response to the American slasher film, which means it has some VERY gory set-pieces and still feels distinctly Italian. The story is quite clever, though some may feel that it takes too long to get through certain scenes, or that Dario injected too much humor into it. I am of the opinion that the slow pacing actually works, as it gives more impact to the rapid bursts of excessive violence.

Argento went in a new direction visually with Tenebre. It is a very bright film, with white or neutral interiors, wardrobes, and lighting...really just a big canvas onto which he splatters a lot of red! A very early 80s look.

Finally, about the soundtrack...Though it's not performed by the WHOLE Goblin lineup, I would have to say the Tenebre soundtrack is actually quite enjoyable in an early 80s drum-machine-and-vocoder kind of way. I actually bought it. SOOoo worth it. Ya, the movie's worth a watch too!

Buy It