HITCHER IN THE DARK

(Umberto Lenzi, 1989)

Mark Glazer (Joe Balogh), a serial killer with unresolved mommy issues, passes the summer by cruising the Virginia Beach coastline, offering lady hitchhikers a ride in his Winnebago of Doom. After luring them inside, he drugs, rapes, and kills them, photographs their nude corpses, then feeds them to the gators.

After a fight with her boyfriend, Kevin, PYT Daniela (Josie Bissett) accepts a ride from Mark. His intentions become clear when she awakens, handcuffed in the back of the RV: Daniela bears a strong resemblance to Mark's absentee mother, and he has a bone to pick with her. Thus begins a game of psychological and physical torture, from which Daniela must escape or face certain death.

To sum up my feelings about Hitcher in the Dark, I have one word: Filmirage. Joe D'Amato's production company put out some of the cheapest, campiest Italian horror films of the late 80's, but HITD is one of the better ones. Like it's kin, HITD is heavily padded-out, this time with many pointless scenes of college kids enjoying Summer break. Well, I'm not sure that you could call standing around and clapping your hands to cheap-ass synthpop enjoyment, but they seem happy enough to do so. Oh, and there's even stock footage of frolicking squirrels, in case the viewer grows weary of all the wet T-shirts and other beach-related shenanigans. The camerawork is also a tad bland, as it lacks most of Lenzi's endearing visual style.

Storywise, HITD brings nothing new to the table. The writing's not half bad, and one may be surprised to find the characters not behaving quite as brainlessly as in other like films. Lenzi does manage to create a bit of suspense with the cat-and-mouse antics between Mark and Daniela, as well as her various attempts at escape and their repercussions.

Shoddy dialogue aside, the acting herein is also surprisingly decent... for a Filmirage feature, that is. HITD contains little in the way of bloodshed or hardcorer violence, and so relies heavily on the actors' performances. Josie Bissett, known for her roles in The Doors and Melrose Place, plays her part competently, switching from softspoken victim to clever escape artist a number of times. Joe Balogh, who also appeared in Lenzi's Black Demons, also gets a passing grade. His character mirrors Bissett's, in that he too switches from softspoken momma's boy to raging psycho at the drop of a hat. HITD is a fairly pedestrian thriller, and it's unsatisfying ending will likely frustrate even the hardiest of viewers. I don't really recommend it, but can't say that it's a terrible film either. It's just...sort of there.

SEVEN BLOODSTAINED ORCHIDS

(Umberto Lenzi, 1972)

A number of seemingly unrelated women are being stalked and killed by a maniac dubbed the "half-moon killer", aptly named as he leaves a silver half-moon keychain on the body of each corpse. Potential victim Julia (Uschi Glas) is stabbed while on a train, but the killer is frightened off and leaves Julia for dead. She recovers, but the police, in an attempt to fool the killer into revealing him or herself, fabricate a news story wherein Julia actually died.

As a memento, the police give Julia's husband Mario (Antonio Sabato) a silver half-moon, which Julia immediately recognizes as being similar to one she'd seen at a seaside hotel two years prior. The police, as usual, are of little assistance, and Julia's cover is soon blown as she and Mario undertake an investigation of their own in an attempt to warn / potentially save the remaining potential victims.

Seven Bloodstained Orchids is one of Lenzi's better gialli. It relies heavily on it's attractive cast of genre regulars (Sabato, Glas, Marisa Mell, Marina Malfatti), great cinematography and lighting, and brutal, yet artistic, murder scenes. Notably, for a pre-slasher film, it contains a death-by-drill scene, however brief it may be. The soundtrack by Riz Ortolani is very catchy; in fact it's still playing in head! On the downside, the story, which moves at a quick pace for the first 40 minutes or so, drags for a bit until the predictable ending. Not bad, I'd say, and worth a watch. Buy it here.

PRIMAL RAGE

(Vittorio Rambaldi, 1988)

Sam and Duffy, university paper photographer and journalist respectively, hear of a case of animal abuse in one of the uni's laboratories. Duffy rashly decides to break in and document the abuse, only to be bitten by a savagely enraged monkey that was recently injected with an experimental serum that both restores damaged brain tissue, and drives the subject utterly bonkers.

Before long, the infection spreads to Duffy's love interest Debbie, as well as a trio of date-raping hooligans, all of whom go on a murderous rampage. Unlike traditional zombie or demonic possession films, the infected herein attack anyone, including each other. They also become incredibly strong and resistant to pain. Sam and his girlfriend Lauren soon find themselves targeted by the infected, which culminates in an all-out massacre at the yearly Halloween dance!

Written by Umberto Lenzi and directed by Carlo Rambaldi's son Vittorio, Primal Rage is truly entertaining. And with Carlo himself (and other son Alex) on makeup and special effects, one needn't contemplate viewing this for long. The story takes a while to get going, but once it does it's nonstop action and mayhem!

It was a good choice of the director's to cast Actual Real Life American actors instead of using the usual overdubbed Euro trash. It's much less distracting, and the acting's not terrible, all considered. As previously mentioned, there's a great deal of blood, oozing sores, crushed heads, etc, and even an almost life-like robotic monkey. Not bad for the usual low budget, I'd say. Now, about the music... late 80's. That's all I need to say *shudder*. Recommended for intermediate viewers as it lacks the style and finesse of earlier Italian horror efforts, but a lot of fun nonetheless. It had a DVD release not long ago, but seems to be OOP again. Buy used copies here.

SPASMO

(Umberto Lenzi, 1974)

While walking along the beach, the possibly psychotic Christian and his lady friend discover what initially appears to be the corpse of a woman. The woman, Barbara (Suzy Kendall), recovers, but cannot recall how she got there. She thanks them, and departs. Intrigued, Christian tracks down Barbara and a romance blossoms.

The two check into a motel, where Christian is attacked by a mysterious stranger in the bathroom. In the ensuing scuffle, the stranger is shot. Christian and Barbara panic and flee the room, only to discover that they left behind incriminating evidence. When they return to the motel, they are shocked to discover that the corpse is gone.

Barbara suggests they stay at a friend's place by the sea, as her friend is currently away on vacation. They arrive only to find that they are not alone. Someone is spying on them from a motor boat. Someone is calling the house. Most unnervingly of all, Christian and Barbara discover that a father and daughter, Malcolm and Clarinda, have rented the supposedly vacant property. They allow Christian and Barbara to stay, but none are around long as someone begins to bump them off! Who is Barbara, really? What of Christian's industrialist brother, Fritz? And who's leaving around mannequins with knives stuck into them?

Lenzi made a decent giallo here, despite the lack of requisite gore and nudity. The story runs a bit long at times, but the Ennio Morricone soundtrack, the random shots of mutilated mannequins, and the decidedly un-Lenzi-like shot compositions and lighting more than make up for it. Recommended. Buy it here.