HANSEL E GRETEL

(Giovanni Simonelli, 1990)



I present to all you Fulci freaks out there the most obscure of the Fulci Presents series, Hansel E Gretel. Before you get too excited, keep in mind that the Fulci Presents series was SUPERVISED by Fulci, not directed by him, and the end results are uneven and unsatisfactory for most viewers. Remember, Massacre and The Murder Secret were both part of the series and they sucked balls!



Hansel E Gretel is a pretty average revenge-from-beyond-the-grave movie with a couple good ideas and a lot of filler. The titular siblings are abducted by a black market organ ring, killed for their sweet innards, and buried discreetly on the grounds of the operation. Their pasty-faced, pie-eyed ghosts rise from the ground and cause fatal accidents for all those connected to their deaths (and for a clandestine operation there are many involved!) Sounds promising, right?



With so much fodder traipsing about the grounds, one would think the film would move at a brisk pace. One will be disappointed to learn that the majority of the film focuses on two cops and a rather unattractive group of 30 and 40-somethings who can't seem to die fast enough. Or badly enough! One would assume the kids' ghosts would be pissed off and vengeful, but they just walk slowly towards their victims with blank looks on their faces. With the exception of one popped-out eyeball (thank you, Lucio) most of the deaths are dry and lackluster. Someone slips in the tub and smacks her head. Someone gets run over with farm machinery (and comes out as an animal carcass after - I want a transmogrifying tractor too!) Oh yes, and someone falls in the pool and drowns. Shivers!!



Sad to say, but the film wasted much of its potential on boring character development, which normally makes a film more interesting, but in this instance killed all tension and atmosphere. The production is painfully low-budget and the effects not so special, which may explain why it's never had an official release or even been dubbed in any language other than Italian. Recommended for Fulci completists and genre die-hards, and even then only if one has a basic grasp of Italian or doesn't really care about dialogue.