YOUR VICE IS A LOCKED ROOM AND ONLY I HAVE THE KEY

(Sergio Martino, 1972)

Titled after a quote from one of his own thrillers, YVIALRAOIHTK is Sergio Martino's giallo take on Poe's "The Black Cat". Abused housewife Irene Ruvigni(Anita Strindberg) is routinely tormented by her alcoholic husband, hasbeen writer Oliviero (Luigi Pistilli), and his ironically-named black cat, Satan. When Oliviero's mistress is found slashed to death, he becomes the primary suspect.

Shortly thereafter, the Ruvignis discover the bloody corpse of their maid in the villa. Afraid to contact the police, they opt to wall-up the body. To further complicate matters, their cousin Floriana (Edwidge Fenech) invites herself to stay with them. Before long, Floriana's true intentions become clearer as she manipulates Oliviero and Irene. Meanwhile, the bodies continue to pile up...

YVIALRAOIHTK (phew!) is just as stylish and erotic as the rest of Martino's gialli, and has a cast of genre greats. It's a beautiful film to watch, and really showcases Martino's trademark look, from the minimal lighting to the voyeuristic compositions and POV shots. There's so many of the leering POV's that one never knows whether the killer's present or we're just allowed to peep in on the sordid goings-on.

There's a fair amount of gore, as would be expected, but it comes secondary to the story. There's more character development, irony, and metaphor in this film than most gialli, and consequently it seems to run on a bit too long. The soundtrack by Bruno Nicolai is also slow and dreamy, so I'd advise viewers to watch this only if wide awake, which shouldn't be too difficult considering the amount of nudity and lesbianism YVIALRAOIHTK also features. Recommended.

THE IGUANA WITH THE TONGUE OF FIRE

(Riccardo Freda, 1971)

A woman, disfigured by acid, is found with her throat slit in the trunk of Swiss Ambassador Sobieski's (Anton Diffring) Rolls Royce. Inspector Lawrence is called to the scene and begins questioning Sobieski and his staff of shifty individuals. When this leads only to dead ends, he hires former police detective John Norton (Luigi Pistilli), a man still suffering from the guilt of a past tragedy that ended his career.

Shortly after a threatening exchange with the ambassador, his mistress, a nightclub singer, is found dead in her dressing room with her throat cut. Sobieski's daughter Helen (Dagmar Lassander) runs into John outside the club in the ensuing panic, and he escorts her back to the embassy. By unorthodox means, and with help from his quirky, mystery-loving old mother, John continues his investigation, but soon finds the lives of his nearest and dearest threatened by the acid-wielding madman. So whodunit? Was it the busybody maid? The secretive, sweaty butler? How about the light-sensitive chauffeur, or the ambassador himself? Or was it Mrs Peacock in the library with the lead pipe?

Freda's first giallo, TIWTTOF, was obviously inspired by the then-recent success of Dario Argento's The Bird With The Crystal Plumage. Among the parallels are the use of an animal in the long-winded title, the black gloves and razor, a sinister redhead, and even a silly being-shaved-with-a-straight-razor scene. In fairness, though, Brian De Palma must have seen this, or at least it's ending, prior to making Dressed To Kill.

All the trademark Freda-isms are present in TIWTTOF, from the kooky camera angles to the messy, though unrealistic, gore. There's a fair amount of the red stuff here, a decent amount of action, and a cringe-inducingly mean ending that includes elderly abuse and underage nudity (talk about opposite ends of the spectrum!). It's too bad the entire film couldn't keep this pace; there's far too much investigation and chatter going on to keep one's interest for long.

The humor also detracts a fair bit from what suspense Freda was hoping to create, though it does give Norton's mother and daughter enough substance and sympathy to make the viewer fear for them. It's not a bad giallo, but definitely not the best place to start.It has yet to have a north American DVD or BluRay release, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed because *shhhtttt, don't tell ANYone!* I actually kinda like Freda's films. So sue me.

THE EERIE MIDNIGHT HORROR SHOW aka The Sexorcist

(Mario Gariazzo, 1974)



It's just what its alternate title implies.
Young Danila has just rescued a rather ancient wooden statue of a crucified man from a deconsecrated church. While Danila is restoring a painting one night, the statue comes to life (as Ivan Rassimov- shivers!) and rapes her. After that she gets horny and moans a lot as she pukes and spasms. Then she's exorcised by Luigi Pistilli and a bunch of nuns. That's about the gist of it!



There isn't much of a point to the story. It just seems to be an excuse to show Danila (and other cast members- not casts' members, mind you!) in the buff as a cheap remedy for a pretty lousy movie. Still, there are a couple of creepy scenes, notably the first scenes with the statue, and the sequence explaining how the statue came to be (He was turned to wood!) Oh, now I've gone and spoiled it for you... No, I really haven't. Watch it for some cheap, degrading fun and have a drink every time Danila rubs herself! Don't say you weren't warned, though.